Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
