Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If I die, sorry about rent.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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