When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
