ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
