I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
