Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
