I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
