arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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