she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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