Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
