if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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