I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
