Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
