i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
