Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
