I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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