Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
