Just mADE A PArabola og urine
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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