I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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