i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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