My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize