K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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