Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
