so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
