Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
