you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he puts the penis in happiness.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
