He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
