I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
