I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
