I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
