I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
