I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
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do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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