I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
