Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
