so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
