I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
