Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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