You were right. It hurts to walk today.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
