were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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