Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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