Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
