Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
