Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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