hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize