HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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