guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
3 2 1 whiskey
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
