It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
