Buhtt sex?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
