would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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