Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
