just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You dont lie about slip and slides
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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