Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
