How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
