careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
