Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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