I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
