we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
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I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
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Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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