There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Panties = found
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